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Eulogy for Philip A. Donahue
Philip A. Donahue passed away on September 17, 2024. (His obituary is available here.) His brother, Richard K. Donahue Jr., delivered his eulogy at his funeral mass at the Immaculate Conception Church in Lowell on September 27, 2024. Richard consented to the publication of his eulogy here:
Eulogy for Philip A. Donahue
By Richard K. Donahue Jr.
“How do you describe someone like Philip?” asked my brother Stephen when we were contemplating this very day and time earlier this spring.
One way to describe him would be he was man who retired after 27 years at Market Basket with an enviable retirement account, and he still believed in Santa Claus! Or, he was born with a disability, but he had the ability to work a room like a seasoned politician! Or another way, he was short in stature, but he stood head and shoulders above many with his honesty, integrity and manners. Or one other, he had difficulty speaking but he could command the attention of a full room with a spontaneous speech! And I have said, under prior similar circumstances, that he was the rock of this family. But all those just scratch the surface and will never fully capture his personality, his habits and routines, his humor, his spirit, his innocence or his bottomless fountain of love. Let me try to describe my brother through some stories.
As you all know, he was a Christmas baby, but what you probably don’t know is that my parents, and especially my mother, made a courageous decision immediately after his birth. With nine children already and consistent with the prevailing medical advice at the time, the doctors recommended to her that he be institutionalized. My mother promptly dismissed that notion and stated, “All he needs is some good food and a lot of love and he’ll be fine.” Truer words were never spoken.
For our family he was the spirit of Christmas. When asked one year what he wanted for Christmas/birthday he said, “just my family”. And when pressed by his friends why at such a late age he still believed in Santa he said, “Santa represents the spirit of Christmas”.
The build up to any one Christmas started at the conclusion of the prior one. The reason wasn’t for the gifts- although he never met a briefcase or desk pen set or executive notebook that he didn’t like, especially if it was in black! It was because he would be one year older so as soon as he turned 12, he’d say “next year I’ll be 13” or as soon as he turned 23, he’d tell us all that next year he’d be 24 and so on. My brother wasn’t known for his acuity with numbers, in fact, it was just the opposite and a source for much laughter. I’ll share one such story in a moment. But his age was the one solid number that he knew and which you could rely upon.
And how prophetic was that statement by my mother. After several different jobs, he found his career in the food business where he was loved by so many. For example, there would be open registers in the checkout area at the store but a line at the register where Philip was bagging. The managers would say to the waiting customers that other registers were open, and they would politely decline and respond, “I’m waiting to talk to Phil.” Good food and a lot of love indeed!
And the love was mutual. On more than one occasion, a customer was short of funds and started putting items aside when my brother said “wait, I can help” and he pulled out his wallet and made up the difference. His co-workers, managers and the CEO, were all peers in his eyes and he loved them all.
My brother Philip was side hustling long before it was in vogue. Years ago, when he was working as a dishwasher at Hugh’s, my brother Michael’s restaurant, he and Jack Sullivan, the architect and my brother
Daniel’s employer, decided to start a partnership of sorts with undefined goals and no set business plan. But Philip was serious about this venture and asked me, his first of many lawyers, to represent him and memorialize the agreement. So, I drafted a document with a lot of legalese and aspirational goals of unity and cooperation which was signed and witnessed by both parties. I then presented the fully executed document to my brother along with my 2-pound contracts textbook from law school and that was that. After some time passed, he started ribbing me about my efforts and calling me a bum lawyer. I was at a loss as to what had gone wrong. Then he told me it was because I never sent him a bill! This was something that he clearly picked up at the dinner table where the business of law was a not an infrequent topic of conversation. So, I drafted a basic invoice that went something like “for services rendered in the consultation and creation of PhilJack Enterprises please pay $1,000 or buy me lunch at Hugh’s”.
For that I got more teasing and questions from him, so I explained to him that he had 2 options to pay and once he understood he said “Ok, I’ll pay the $1000!”
Of course, there was never any payment, and he went on to more side hustles but not before he made a run for governor complete with a promotional video! Later, while he was gainfully employed at Market Basket, he set up his own consulting business, Donahue Enterprises, complete with a well-appointed in-home office and business cards. This business consisted largely of passing out his business cards and counseling and mentoring his many nieces and nephews. They all have stories of being invited, or dragged, upstairs to his office for some unsolicited advice on life much of which revolved around studying hard in school, be kind to people and always love and respect your parents.
The real work of his business was keeping the family logs of names, dates of birth and the Christmas gift swap lists. He knew the value of personal data long before it became monetized. He spent countless hours poring over the records and making amendments and corrections. His penmanship was small and precise. It was enjoyable to sit in his office and see the history of the family as captured in the logs. Years from now maybe a future digital only family member will see the records and exclaim “Wow, Uncle Phil could write his name in cursive!”
After establishing his own business, he went looking for more growth opportunities and entered another joint venture with my brother Stephen and his commercial real estate business in Burlington, VT. For this transaction he brought in one of the top criminal defense attorneys in the Commonwealth Bob Sheketoff to represent him. I’m not quite sure what message he was sending to Stephen by doing so but the transaction took place with a lot of pomp and circumstance and all parties were happy- for a while. The talk between my brothers quickly turned to comparing the number of employees in Burlington versus Lowell, Phil asking for more help in the Lowell office, and hours and hours of calls strategizing about developing more business. This was a long and loving relationship- with a lot of talk! Philip eventually hired, or conscripted, many family members for various roles in his business.
And eventually he got an employee or, more accurately, a volunteer, unpaid intern in my niece Isabel. Throughout all his business dealings he went through a who’s who of attorneys. It was an honor to be hired by him and an honor to be fired by him!
As I mentioned, he was a sociable person who enjoyed mixing and mingling with family, old friends and meeting new people. To him everyone was an equal. Being the tenth of eleven children meant that he was always part of a large group so to him what’s a few dozen or a few hundred more! He was known for his cheerful banter followed by blunt honesty. When Philip met President Bill Clinton, after they exchanged pleasantries, he said “When are you going to clean up Boston Harbor?” In our family, where teasing is a favorite pastime, he could give as good as he got!
One year at the Profiles in Courage Award dinner at the JFK library my son Dylan was part of the entourage. At the time, Dylan was part of an improv group in NYC and very much into comedy. And at this year’s event Conan O’Brien, the well-known comedian and a foundation board member, was in attendance. Dylan was hoping to meet Conan and told his uncle about it to which Uncle Phil said, in very matter of fact manner, “Oh you want to meet Conan? I’ll introduce you to him.” With Dylan’s excitement building Philip then said, “ok, which one is he?”
My brother had a good sense of time and timing. For telling time he relied on two sources- his Casio digital watch and his stomach! Either one was reliable enough for you to catch a plane. Beyond the day to day, for longer lengths of time, he relied on two dates- his birthday and his work anniversary date. It was brilliant in its simplicity. Anything in between those dates or beyond the coming year were immaterial to him and he’d simply respond “whatever”.
For his sense of timing, he relied on his intuition. When you spoke to him, he knew whether you needed a hug, a joke or a story. He had a knack for finding just the right birthday card, which on occasion could be a holiday greeting card, but when he presented it to you it just felt right. On countless occasions, whether a holiday meal, a cookout or a casual gathering he would make a comment that was spot on and succinct. On one occasion at the dinner table my father was making a case in a rather stern manner when Philip said, “Dad relax!” which immediately broke the tension and brightened the mood.
My family members have more stories that they would love to share with you after this service and I guarantee you that each one has a story of when Philip called them his favorite. But I would be remiss if I didn’t mention how helpful Stephen was in the past year with caring for both Philip and my mother. My sister Tara, though, was a tireless and empathetic caretaker for both. She was at the house daily and oftentimes around the clock tending to their every need. And throughout Philip’s life my brother Daniel served as his confidante, treasurer, driver, travel companion, roommate, dining partner and best brother who he loved so much!
Daniel’s good friend Ray Keefe said it best on Facebook when he said “We’ve all watched with admiration and reverence as he put his life aside to care for his brother and best friend, Philip, for last forty plus years after he returned home from college. Total love, compassion, selflessness and devotion. You’re an inspiration to many. Me for sure. You put your family and brother before all else. Salute to you Daniel for teaching us the way”. Thank you, Ray. I couldn’t have said it any better.
And, of course, none of us would have had the pleasure of knowing my brother Philip if my mother had not made the courageous decision to embrace him and love him like the rest of us. By including him and raising him as an equal, and of course, with good food and a lot of love, she guided him to realize his full potential. And the love we gave him he returned tenfold!
So, I guess the most accurate way to describe my brother Philip is to say he embodied the best in humanity. To say that he was “special” is both a cliché and an understatement. He didn’t have special needs so much as he had special gifts- his love, kindness, honesty and cheerfulness brightened our days and filled all of us with joy. Let us continue to share that love and joy with others. Good heavens we love you! Thank you.
Instruction
Instruction – (PIP #41)
By Louise Peloquin
A hundred years ago, a call for instruction.
L’Etoile, September 3, 1924
Instruction
(Of Liberty)
Our little schoolchildren, with schoolbags strapped over their shoulders, will soon return to school.
Vacation time and endless games will have lasted the lifespan of a rose. Looking retrospectively, the days of happiness, once passed, appear to us, alas, excessively short!
And the more we age, the more time flees rapidly, which reminds us of these oh so true verses of Lamartine:
Thus, ever driven onward to new shores, borne constantly away,
Can we never, in the Ocean of the Ages, drop anchor for a day? (1)
A certain number of children who attended parochial school last year will not return this Fall, not because they have terminated their studies but because, having reached the legal age to enter into an apprenticeship, their family has decided to send them to the plant or to the factory where without delay, they will largely forget what they learned in class.
Very often, these young workers were gifted with talents and admired by their teachers. If they had pursued their studies, they could have become instructed and brilliant individuals.
But their parents judged differently, most of the time because they had a false idea of instruction and especially because they were anxious to rid themselves of the burden imposed by raising and educating children. The parents want to quickly benefit from their children’s earnings in order to buy a car, to burn up gas every Sunday as long as the beautiful season lasts, to frequent stylish beaches, finally, to live like the rich. In order to have their children educated, it would be necessary to deprive themselves of all of these pleasures. They do not have the courage to do so.
And thus, from one generation to the next, some remain in ignorance, barely able to read and write.
There are exceptions but they are too rare.
Let’s tell the truth because it is necessary: some people do not value instruction enough.
One can undoubtedly be a good man, very esteemed, intelligent and successful in life without instruction. This has been seen more than once. But be convinced that these cases are exceptional.
A moment of reflection will quickly make you realize that the most difficult and lower-paying jobs are destined to the people who are deprived of all instruction. Look around you and compare. See for example under the beating sun or in an icy wind those who, with parchment skin and calloused hands, move heavy stones, dig deep trenches, place the tracks of the railroad, cut down trees in the forest, engulf themselves in the dark stomach of the earth to extract ore… Even in these most humble careers, a bit of instruction could do no harm. How many workers in our factories could, with a bit of instruction, move up in rank, become foremen and rise even higher?
We complain about the slowness in taking advantage of civil service offerings. Here again the stumbling block is the impossibility to pass the exams with success.
Our children leave school too early. They should spend a few more years there.
Once the opportunity for instruction is lost, it is for life….. (2)
****
- Le Lac is 10th in the 24-poem collection called “Les Méditations poétiques” by Alphonse Lamartine (1790-1869) published in 1820. Even today, Le Lac is considered the jewel of Romantic poetry. It was inspired by the amorous liaison Lamartine had in 1816-1817 with Julie Charles, a married woman who died of an incurable disease. Lamartine returns alone to see the places he had formerly visited with her. Le Lac has become an immortal poem about destiny, ephemeral love and eternity.Ainsi, toujours poussés vers de nouveaux rivages,
Dans la nuit éternelle emportés sans retour,
Ne pourrons-nous jamais sur l’océan des âges
Jeter l’ancre un seul jour ?
2) Translation by Louise Peloquin.
Poe in Lowell Fest, Oct. 19-20, Details
Contact: Meg Smith, festival organizer, 978-996-6592
Poe in Lowell festival to honor Edgar Allan Poe’s visits to Lowell
Lowell, Massachusetts – A new festival will celebrate Edgar Allan Poe’s three visits to Lowell, with art exhibits, spoken word readings of poetry and short stories by Poe, dance performances inspired by Poe’s work, a screening of the Roger Corman film, “The Raven,” and more.
Poe in Lowell is set for Saturday and Sunday, Oct. 19 and 20, with events taking place at several venues in downtown Lowell.
“Poe visited Lowell three times, in 1848 and 1849,” said organizer Meg Smith, a writer, journalist, dancer and events producer in Lowell, who also serves on the committee of the Lowell Celebrates Kerouac!, a Poe in Lowell partner. “Poe in Lowell will celebrate Poe’s visits as part of the city’s history and literary heritage.”
Smith added, “Much like Jack Kerouac, who was born in Lowell, Poe’s writing represented something innovative, challenging and exciting. Like Kerouac, Poe is loved and remembered today because his life and writings speak to so many people. He is best known as a writer of horror, but so many themes run through his work, including love, loss, mystery, and discovery.”
Festival highlights include:
– A Poe Pop Up Shop, featuring local authors and vendors of spooky and gothic offerings
– “A Dream Within A Dream” soiree and artist’s reception, held in concert with Gallery Z, and featuring guest musician Amy Beauregard and model and cosplayer, The Blood Witch
Roger Corman’s “The Raven,” at Luna Theater, with a 2 p.m. showing emceed by horror movie hostess, Penny Dreadful
– “The Edgar Allan Poe Show,” an evening of readings of Poe’s work by area poets, with special musical guest Todd Brunel; followed by performances by local Oriental and fusion dance artists, inspired by Poe’s short stories and poetry
In addition to the two-day festival, Poe in Lowell is sponsoring “Echoes of Poe,” an exhibit of poetry and art by Lowell High School students, running through October at Lowell Telecommunications, with a reception set for Friday, Oct. 18, 1 to 3 p.m.
A complete schedule of festival events can be found here, at linktr.ee/poeinlowell
Poe in Lowell is supported by a grant from Mosaic Lowell, as well as by local businesses and individual supporters.
Why did Poe visit Lowell? This article from the UMass Lowell library explains.
The Impossible Dream: The 1967 Red Sox
The Impossible Dream: The 1967 Red Sox
The end of another disappointing Red Sox season on Sunday was tempered by a Bob Ryan column in the Sunday Boston Globe about the importance of October 1st in the Red Sox universe. (“It was pivotal day in year that changed it all”). That was the day in 1967 on which the Sox won the American League pennant for the first time in 21 years and earned them a place in that year’s World Series.
I was eight years old at the time and already a baseball fan. The year before I had gone to Fenway Park to see my first Red Sox game. All I remember from that experience was the lack of enthusiasm among the fans, mainly because in 1966 the Sox had finished last, a spot they held more often than not in the sixties.
That changed in 1967 starting with a new manager, Dick Williams, who famously said at the start of the season, “We’ll win more games than we lose.” That turned out to be true. That year’s team was young and exciting and exceeded all expectations. Even now, nearly sixty years later, I can rattle off the starting lineup without any refreshing of memory:
- First base was George Scott
- Second base was Mike Andrews
- Shortstop was Rico Petrocelli
- Third base was Joe Foy
- Leftfield was Carl Yastrzemski
- Centerfield was Reggie Smith
- Rightfield started with Tony Conigliaro but ended with Ken Harrelson
- Catcher started with Mike Ryan but ended with Elston Howard
- Pitchers were led by Jim Longborg, Jose Santiago, Dave Moorehead, and Sparky Lyle.
And those are just the ones I remember off the top of my head. Some other memories I retain.
- My first-ever record album, “The Impossible Dream” (see above and below).
- Listening to games on the pea-soup colored clock AM clock radio in my bedroom while falling asleep at night.
- Wondering during one such broadcast in August why Jose Tartabull was playing right field rather than Conigliaro only to learn later in the broadcast that the starting right fielder had been hit in the head by a pitch and taken to the hospital with injuries that ended his season and shortened his career.
- Seeing Carl Yastrzemski make one of the greatest catches in baseball history at Yankee Stadium to preserve, for another inning, a no hitter being thrown by Billy Rohr in his first ever big league start (the no hitter was foiled by Yankee catcher Elston Howard who would soon be traded to the Red Sox).
- Watching that final game of the regular season versus the Minnesota Twins when shortstop Rico Petrocelli caught a sky-high infield popup for the final out that launched the first ever on field celebration I had ever witnessed.
- Waiting several hours after that game to learn the California Angels had defeated the Detroit Tigers to ensure the Sox had won the pennant outright rather than have to play the Tigers the next day in a one game playoff.
The Red Sox would face the St. Louis Cardinals in the World Series. Here’s what happened:
Game 1 – Wednesday, October 4, 1967, at 1:00 pm at Fenway Park
St. Louis beat Boston, 2 to 1. Bob Gibson was the winning pitcher. Jose Santiago took the loss, but his third inning home run accounted for the only Sox run of the game. Cardinals up, 1 game to 0.
Game 2 – Thursday, October 5, 1967, at 1:00 pm at Fenway Park
The Red Sox won, 5 to 0, on the strength of a Jim Lonborg shutout. Dick Hughes was the losing pitcher. Carl Yastrzemski hit two home runs and drove in four of the five runs scored by the Sox. Series tied, one game apiece.
Game 3 – Saturday, October 7, 1967, at 1:00 pm at Busch Memorial Stadium
The Cardinals won 5 to 2 with Nelson Briles as the winning pitcher and Gary Bell taking the loss. Home runs were hit by Mike Shannon for the Cardinals and Reggie Smith for the Red Sox. Cardinals lead, 2 games to 1.
Game 4 – Sunday, October 8, 1967, at 1:00 pm at Busch Memorial Stadium
The Cardinals won 6 to 0 behind the dominant pitching of Bob Gibson. Jose Santiago, who was relieved by Gary Bell in the first inning after giving up four runs, took the loss. Cardinals lead, 3 games to 1.
Game 5 – Monday, October 9, 1967, at 1:00 pm at Busch Memorial Stadium
The Red Sox avoided elimination with a 3 to 1 victory. Jim Lonborg was the winning pitcher. Steve Carlton took the loss. Roger Maris hit a home run in the bottom of the ninth accounting for the only run for St. Louis. Cardinals lead, 3 games to 2.
Game 6 – Wednesday, October 11, 1967, at 1:00 pm at Fenway Park
The Red Sox tied the series with an 8 to 4 win. Reliever John Wyatt earned the win. Jack Lamabe took the loss. Although the Cardinals Lou Brock hit a home run, the Red Sox offense exploded with two home runs by Rico Petrocelli and one each by Carl Yastrzemski and Reggie Smith. Series tied, three games each.
Game 7 – Thursday, October 12, 1967, at 1:00 pm at Fenway Park
Fittingly, the decisive game featured the respective ace pitchers of the two teams, Bob Gibson for the Cardinals and Jim Lonborg for the Sox. Gibson helped his cause by hitting a home run as did Cardinal’s second baseman Julian Javier. George Scott homered for the Sox. Gibson struck out ten and Lonborg, pitching on just two days rest, struggled from the start. A magical Red Sox season came to a disappointing end with St. Louis winning the series, 4 games to 3.
The Impossible Dream album rear cover